Emotional Intelligence
Laughing, crying, blushing, gasping; emotion is one of the most powerful driving factors in human nature. In fact, as I have gone through my inside and outside the classroom experiences, I realize the importance of channeling emotion and using it as power rather than something that can break down relationships or hinder success. Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others. It is generally said to include 3 skills: Emotional awareness, including the ability to identify your own emotions and those of others; The ability to harness emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problems solving and the ability to manage emotions, including the ability to regulate your own emotions, and the ability to cheer up or calm down another person.
I first began becoming aware of emotional intelligence while serving as a mentor for the athletic department. Part of mentoring was identifying how my students were feeling throughout the week during the sessions we met together. Attached is a screen shot of a text conversation between me and one of the academic advisors regarding a student. One of my students had a lot of personal issues going on as well as was not performing well at her sport. Being able to pick up on a change in emotion, react to it, and communicate her change in attitude to her advisor were keys to building trust and to being a successful mentor. Often times my students could be disappointed because of a grade, bad practice, bad game, etc. The ability to motivate my student with positive emotions or relax them in times of stress made the sessions more productive. On the contrary, they could be pumped up because of a good grade or a fantastic athletic performance. Identifying these emotions and then using them to motivate was crucial to helping them accomplish their work.
Another facet of emotional intelligence that I realized throughout my experience as a mentor was learning how my facial expressions, tone of voice, and other ways I expressed my emotion affected my student. It did not matter if I was having a bad day or if I was stressed about a test because I was there to help the student and had to compartmentalize those distressed, nervous or upset emotions. Likewise, I channeled happy and spirited energy to my students in order to motivate and persuade.
Orientation was another environment in which emotional intelligence enhanced the ability to build better relationships with students and parents which ultimately led to more successes. Recognizing when parents and students were distressed was part of making sure that all of the guests were having a positive experience. Building from this recognition, using emotional intelligence to modify their attitude and feelings was the next step to demonstrating understanding and humility. Emotional Intelligence allowed me to relate to others, especially in times of distress and show that I value their wants and needs.
My experiences as a mentor and orientation leader were solidified on paper in my POLI 215 Intro to Leadership Studies class. In spring of 2015, I was taught the importance of inspiring others to follow rather than force them. Throughout the class, we referenced the quote, “Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.” The quote was reflected in our discussion of the conscious vs unconscious mind. Below is an annotated section of reading from class. The conscious mind refers to a person’s awareness at the present moment something is occurring and the logical aspect of decision making. On the other hand, the unconscious mind refers to the feelings, thoughts, urges, and memories that outside of conscious awareness which often includes emotions.
Stemming from this quote we came to the conclusion that it is more powerful and efficient to appeal to the heart and emotions of a person rather than the logical reasoning of a person. In other words, a person is more likely to follow if they have an emotional response to the leader or his cause. I recognized that I had been doing this during mentoring and orientation without even realizing it. However, after making this connection, I could deliberately place emphasis on fostering an emotional connection with my students in order to lead them to high achievement in and out of the classroom. In many circumstances in a professional setting, emotion is considered a negative attribute. Emotion, however, can be used to enhance experiences, relationships and success in and out of the classroom.
